Today wasn’t the greatest ever.
I’m incredibly disgusted with myself on several different levels. Currently, one of the biggest points of frustration for me is the fact that, physically speaking, I’ve let myself go in such a horrid way since high school. I used to be in pretty excellent shape, and now I need a serious breather after sprinting around a baseball diamond. We’ve started fall workouts for the team, and on off-days, I’ve been working with several guys who haven’t ever before played competitively. I fielded some grounders at third for a few minutes, and my mobility absolutely sucketh. I really need to lose some substantial weight, and I need to get back into decent shape; I’m seriously considering starting P90X with some dudes, because that stuff works miracles, even in this dispensation.
Secondly, I’ve been struggling to keep my temper in check while on the court, just as I did in high school. I’ve even discussed this in my meetings with the Dean of Men; there’s something about athletics that causes me to rage out when things don’t go my way, and I’ve never had to battle anger issues outside the realm of sports. Tonight was the last night of intramural volleyball. Our team went 2-2 in the seeding rounds, and we were certain that we were the second best team in the tournament. Judson is the top team because they’re comprised of giant male basketball players and female volleyball players who don’t play for the school team. I don’t think that anyone, most of us included, came into the match thinking we stood a chance, and that upset me. Also, the whole “root for the underdog” mentality? Entirely absent from the gym. Approximately 95% of those present cheered nonstop for Judson. This actually doesn’t bother me too much; what DID bother me was that each and every time their random giants would spike a ball and leave divots in the floor, the world screamed with delight. Color me jealous, or cynical, or anything but chartreuse, really, but I’m fairly certain that it’s to be expected that a 6’5″ dude with a 70+ inch wingspan whose parents have probably instilled within him a mentality of total athletic domination since birth should be able to consistently dominate a girl’s volleyball net. I’d have been astounded had he NOT scored on 80% of the points where he was on the net. Yeah, it sucks beings on the opposite end when he and his teammates are (expectedly) embarrassing you, and I’d probably have enjoyed the game more if I were on the winning side of things, but the utter fascination of our audience seemed rather excessive.
Anyway, I didn’t do a great job of maintaining a Christlike attitude on Monday the 27th of September, in the year of our Lord 2010. If I’m to be completely transparent with this thing, as I said I would, I need to record my defeats as often as my victories. I’m hoping that tomorrow/today goes much better, even though I’ll be working a monster shift for inventory. Pray for me, please.